I once asked a colleague to join me and a few others for drinks. She declined, saying she avoided female friends because she “didn’t trust” women. Her words hit me like a punch in the stomach. “How sad,” I thought. Determined to show her that there are amazing women out there, I continued to engage her, support her and invite her out, until one day, she invited me out for a drink. A year later, we were on a girl’s weekend away in the country with four other women and had an amazing time.
This experience made me even more passionate about celebrating the incredible power of women supporting women and I have been shouting the benefits from the proverbial rooftops ever since.
Though toxic reality shows and outdated jokes may have you believe we are at one another’s throats or whispering nasty statements 24-7, not all women are catty or feel the need to compete with every female in a 100-mile radius. In fact, a Women’s Leadership study by KPMG showed that 82% of women find their lives are richer and more successful when they support each other. More and more women are standing up for one another, helping those around them rise, and discovering that their own lives become kinder, fuller, and more successful as a result.
Here are 11 things women who support other women know:
They know there is enough to go around.
Women who support other women don’t buy into the myth that life is a zero-sum game. They see the world as a place of abundance where there’s plenty of success and opportunities for everyone. They also love the idea of collaboration and skill-sharing because they know that working as a team allows them to create something bigger and better together.
They offer genuine support to all of the women in their lives
These women understand that happiness is an inside job. They know everyone has pains, fears, insecurities, and worries, regardless of whether they look like a supermodel or have millions in the bank. Instead of rolling their eyes when someone who looks like they “have it all” shares her struggles, they offer the same support and empathy they value for themselves.
They cheer others’ successes
When another woman hits a goal, these women are the first to jump up and cheer. They want their colleagues and friends to know their achievements are recognized and celebrated unconditionally.
They celebrate each other’s happiness
Forget frenemies. These women know what true friendship is and it’s not about having someone to share misery with. When a friend is down, they do whatever they can to lift them up and would never feel good about someone else’s failure.
They know this isn’t The Bachelor.
Competing for men is as outdated as the centuries-old fairy tales that encouraged it. They know that not every man is right for them just because he’s attractive, successful, and nice and they’d never get jealous of a friend’s engagement ring or fight over a guy.
They aren’t fans of the Real Housewives franchise
Watching women tear each other down isn’t entertaining — it’s sad. These women refuse to support or engage in behavior that perpetuates the idea that women can’t be close without being catty.
They pay it forward
When a young woman reaches out for an informational interview or mentorship, these women are the first to respond. If they see that a friend is job hunting, they spread the word. They love opening their networks and sharing their skills with those willing to work for their dreams.
They encourage one another to “go for it”
Quashing someone’s dreams? Not their style. These women believe the sky’s the limit for those who plan well and work hard, and they cheer other women every step of the way.
They hold one another accountable
Women who support other women want to live their best lives as their best selves and genuinely want the same for those around them. If they see someone going off-track, they don’t gossip — they address it directly and ask how they can help.
They truly value their connections with others
Anyone with an amazing best friend knows there’s nothing like the love, support, and laughter shared with another woman. These women treasure their connections and nurture them wholeheartedly.
They celebrate diversity and inclusion
Women who support other women understand that diversity is a strength. They actively seek to include and uplift women from all backgrounds, recognizing that varied perspectives and experiences enrich everyone. They stand up against discrimination and bias, and they champion equality in all areas of life.
How has a woman supported you in your life? How do you support other women?
Inspired by the piece originally written for YourTango.